So Small, Silly Human

 I sit.

Sorting the negative thoughts that swirl in my brain.

Why is it always the bad moments that replay in quiet space?

On repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Until I've memorized every word.

All the things I said.

All the things I should have said.

It's too late now.

So they replay.

Rewind.

Repeat.

I sit.

Listening to the creek babbling.

The birds awakening.

Watching the sun crawling

Across the tops of the evergreens - swaying.

And then I hear her.

"What are you doing?" 

She whispers inside my head.

"You are so small. None of this matters."

And I'm laughing.

Suddenly.

Cackling in the dawn mist as the tears melt the conversations that torture me.

Silly human.

You are so small.

My hot breath forms vapor clouds in the cold morning as it shoots from my lungs,

Laughter flowing from my mouth and down the canyon.

Dancing with the babbling water.

And now new words repeat and replay in my head.

But they bring peace instead of pain.

You are so small.

You are so small.

Silly human.

You're so small.

And I'm sure I look insane,

Should anyone spot me.

Shivering on a rock, laughing to the creek.

The mountains.

The gray rays of morning.

Not another human around.

But that's okay.

Because aren't we all?

Thank you, Gaia.

You're right...none of it matters <3

xo Placebo Poet